Folks, we live in an interesting world with some very interesting people. I'm always amazed at some of the people I see on a day to day basis. But why should I be so surprised? I should expect utter weirdness and oddities from the other people with whom I share the Earth, and not be perplexed at the pure idiosyncrasies they display.
With that said, I accompanied my friend Sarah on a girls' night out. We met a group at a FABULOUS Indian restaurant where we snarfed down lots of really good, ethnic food. The night of people-sightings started at our next stop: a piano bar just down the street from the restaurant. After being escorted to our prime, reserved table we had the pleasure of watching groups of people trickle in before the show started. Lucky for Sarah and I, we had a perfect view of two of the most hideous creatures I have ever seen in my life. One was nicknamed "Boobs," (you can use your imagination as to why we would have named her that) and the other never got an official nickname other than "Boob's friend." Now, tables at bars aren't that big. They're meant for a few drinks, no more than that. Boobs and her friend decided to take it upon themselves to bring an entire buffet of food to this bar. I guess they were supposed to share this food with a larger group of people, but unfortunately for their friends, most of the food was gone by the time they arrived. I guess Boobs figured she had better eat her fair share of the food so she could keep her voluptuous figure up to par. I never realized that it was OK to have my boobs pushed up to my chin for the whole world to see, which is something Boobs taught me the first moment I saw her. Forget the entertainment of the piano players, Boobs and her friend provided hours of entertainment for Sarah and I as we watched in amazement while they devoured an entire buffet of food by themselves ... with not one boob falling loose. Boobs even tried to impress the piano player by placing olives on all five of her fingers like we did when we were kids ... except they weren't on her fingers all the way. Her 5 inch fingernails prevented the olives from ever touching the tip of her fingers, and made it look like she had just picked a huge black booger out of her nose.
The next few sightings happened on the way home. We rode Trax (the public train in Salt Lake) home, making it an early night. The first person we noticed was waiting at the station with us. He looked a bit rough, he could have been a bum, but we just assumed that he had seen better days and that whatever drugs he was on were not treating him so well. He was holding a cigarette between two of his nubs (he had nubs, not fingers) and was trying to puff away on a cigarette. Sarah, after having a few drinks said to me in a louder than necessary voice:
With that said, I accompanied my friend Sarah on a girls' night out. We met a group at a FABULOUS Indian restaurant where we snarfed down lots of really good, ethnic food. The night of people-sightings started at our next stop: a piano bar just down the street from the restaurant. After being escorted to our prime, reserved table we had the pleasure of watching groups of people trickle in before the show started. Lucky for Sarah and I, we had a perfect view of two of the most hideous creatures I have ever seen in my life. One was nicknamed "Boobs," (you can use your imagination as to why we would have named her that) and the other never got an official nickname other than "Boob's friend." Now, tables at bars aren't that big. They're meant for a few drinks, no more than that. Boobs and her friend decided to take it upon themselves to bring an entire buffet of food to this bar. I guess they were supposed to share this food with a larger group of people, but unfortunately for their friends, most of the food was gone by the time they arrived. I guess Boobs figured she had better eat her fair share of the food so she could keep her voluptuous figure up to par. I never realized that it was OK to have my boobs pushed up to my chin for the whole world to see, which is something Boobs taught me the first moment I saw her. Forget the entertainment of the piano players, Boobs and her friend provided hours of entertainment for Sarah and I as we watched in amazement while they devoured an entire buffet of food by themselves ... with not one boob falling loose. Boobs even tried to impress the piano player by placing olives on all five of her fingers like we did when we were kids ... except they weren't on her fingers all the way. Her 5 inch fingernails prevented the olives from ever touching the tip of her fingers, and made it look like she had just picked a huge black booger out of her nose.
The next few sightings happened on the way home. We rode Trax (the public train in Salt Lake) home, making it an early night. The first person we noticed was waiting at the station with us. He looked a bit rough, he could have been a bum, but we just assumed that he had seen better days and that whatever drugs he was on were not treating him so well. He was holding a cigarette between two of his nubs (he had nubs, not fingers) and was trying to puff away on a cigarette. Sarah, after having a few drinks said to me in a louder than necessary voice:
"WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM IT MIGHT BE EASIER TO SMOKE THAT THING IF IT WAS LIT?"
After laughing harder than I have in a long time, I looked over to see Nubs trying to smoke his unlit cigarette. This continued through the train-ride home.
The most impressive person we saw of the night didn't appear until we boarded the train. I swear, and will swear for the rest of my life that this guy is a secret-agent spy man. We noticed him only because he was quickly tearing off his all-black clothes to reveal a completely different outfit underneath his spy clothes. With him he carried a backpack, which was sure to have contained random items such as q-tips, shoe strings and acetone, just in case he needed to build himself a bomb to escape the enemy. I think that he was a combination of James Bond and McGeyver. After spending some time imagining what he might be up to for the evening, I looked back to where he was ... he was gone! He probably had received a secret message in his phone/watch and jumped out the window when nobody was looking. Sarah was sure he was on the roof of the train.
Shoe of the Day
Brand: Karen Scott
Name: Mason
Size: 8
Color: Black and White
6 comments:
i can't believe you just watched me and my friend eat all that food and didn't come up and say "hi" to us!
i would have shared my olives with you.
Ok, I think this needs to be said. You may have too many shoes!
I love to people watch! People do the craziest things when they don't know people are watching!
Kara - HOW DARE YOU! Such blasphemous thoughts expressed on my blog!
GAH - I was actually hungry for ONE SECOND, until the gigantic black booger reference.
I like to people watch.. but this may be the exception!!
I don't think I've seen those shoes before.
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