1. Wear cuffed pants with high heels. The heels of your shoes WILL get caught in the cuffs, you WILL trip down the stairs, and you WILL do it three times (once in front of clients).
2. Dine at a restaurant called The Lighthouse Cafe. Upon entering and seeing that its the only restaurant in the entire state that allows smoking indoors, exit the establishment immediately. Do not sit down in the "non-smoking" section, because the odors of the cigarette smoke will still continually penetrate your food. After you see that Marge (from the Carls Junior commercial) is your waitress, you have one more chance to escape. Do not stay and eat your dinner there.
3. Expect that the guy you paid lotsa moolah to tile your entry-way is going to come and fix his crappy job. Do not expect him to come finish the bathroom tile. Do not expect him to return your phone calls. Do expect him to call for the fifteenth time and ask for the remainder of his money, only to be told the same thing that he's heard for the previous fourteen times: COME FINISH/FIX THE DAMN JOB YOU STUPID, IGNORANT, HORRID EXCUSE FOR A CONTRACTOR MAN.
4. Expect that people at a hardware store will treat you with respect. Do expect that the "Do-it-yourself" teacher will tell you to "come back with your husband next time" before you even mention that YOU'RE the fix-it person in the relationship. Listen here BUDDY, just because I'm blonde (sometimes red), just because I like shoes and clothes, and just because I have a ring on my finger doesn't mean that I'm too stupid to do my own projects at home. Don't you dare, EVER tell me to bring my husband back to the hardware store with me you ugly, overweight, smelly little turd.
Eh hem, anyway, back to the list.
5. Think that your husband's car will make it through another winter. It won't, and now we have to buy a new car. Let's add this to the list of things to buy: new glasses, a new computer, and the endless projects on the house. When it rains, it pours people! I need a raise.
Brand: Aerosoles
Name: Primming Event
Color: Tan & Cream
Size: 8
13 comments:
Joe feels bad for recommending him, especially after he had to fire him off of their house as well! He is now blacklisted of the contractors list of good references.
You know, I've never thought that my husbands car would make it though another winter.
Seriously, sorry about your falling down the stairs. Maybe it wasn't the pants. Maybe it was that the 'Primming Events' have giant pointy thins on the bottom of the heal. That can't be easy to walk on.
That's 'things on the bottomw of the heal.'
It sure is hard to be a smartass in blogdom when you have typos in your comments.
I give up.
sitting in the non-smoking section of a restaurant is like swimming in the non-peeing section of a pool.
i have a friend who worked at a hardware store and all the men that came in were soooo sexist to her and wouldn't listen to what she told him. she LOVED it when they had to come back because they had bought the wrong part . . . she would smirk in her head "i told you so" . . . brilliant!
Are these things we should really expect? sigh. I'm doing it all wrong.
BTW - shoe princess.. I should have had your help the other day, I'm the worst at matching shoes with outfits. I spent so much time it was ridiculous. I suck.
Don't encourage her, Holli.
at least you HAVE a statewide no smoking policy, stop complaining!
love, LOVE the shoes btw!
as a blonde/sometimes red head and fix person in my house, I so feel you on number 4!
Are you working more at work? The posting is not as frequent!
My comment didn't show up..
but - it was about shoes and I just saw BSC's comment about not encouraging you!!
Still - we NEED MORE SHOES!!
As a person who works at the 'how to fix it' store, I'm really sorry someone treated you like that. I take great pains to explain things to both people in a couple if they're both there, and I usually ASK who's going to be doing the job. I have convinced several women that they are more than capable of tackling their own ceramic tile jobs when their husbands have failed miserably at the task!
Just found your blog, and I like it. :) Nice shoes!!! I wish I could wear them every day! I have to wear steel-toed boots for work, so they're not terribly pretty!
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