Grand Theft Auto

I know you've been waiting, I know it's been so long. Yes, once again it is story time. So gather round, get comfortable and get ready to make fun of me ... again.

I was in middle school (junior high for those people who live in Utah). That akward stage in between childhood and adulthood is never fun, especially when you're a girl. By the time I hit eighth grade I had frizzy blond hair, was the same height I am now (5' 9"), and had braces that were desperatley trying to pull the gaps in my teeth together. I hated the fact that all the boys in my grade not only seemed to be shorter than me, but also looked about 5 years younger than I did. It always seemed that my pants were never long enough, boobs were never big enough and I didn't quite know how to wear makeup to cover up the zits that seemed to love my skin more than anything. Am I painting a pretty (or not so pretty) picture for you all? Yes, that is the middle school me. I wouldn't re-live it for anything. But then again, maybe I would ...

It's the age between 12 and 15 that gives you the idea that you're invincible and you never realize how much trouble you can get into when you are so easily influenced by your peers. This is what this story is all about. One of the many stupid things I did during those three years of my life.

I was spending the night with some friends over at Anna's house during the summer between 7th and 8th grade. It had been one of those long summer days filled with so much fun that it seemed to go by in a flash. It was getting darker, and we were all of a sudden getting bored. Nothing good on TV, too cool to play a board game, no parents to drive us around, already done our prank-calling for the night. So, what to do? As we sat around pondering for about an hour, the sun had fully set and our options were growing slimmer as the night crept closer. Suddenly, Anna decided that we needed to go rent a movie. But the closest Blockbuster was a couple of miles away, and there was no way we were going to walk four miles just to rent a movie. Besides, her parents would have killed us if they caught us walking along a busy road in the middle of the night. So, she comes up with an even better idea.

"What if we drive?"

You should have seen the little devil horns growing out of each of our heads that night. What a concept: to avoid getting in trouble for walking, we'll steal her mom's car and drive without a license! GREAT PLAN!

We knew Anna's parents would be gone to dinner for the next hour or so. Luckily they drove her dad's car, because her mom always left the keys to her mini van in the garage where they were readily accesible. This would have to be executed with extreme precision, because getting caught would be out of the question. We all made note of exactly where the car was parked in the garage, looking out the windows to make sure it was lined up just right when we came back. Off we went! Into the darkness the white minivan slowly crawled closer and closer to Blockbuster. Anna's hands were gripped so tight on the steering wheel, I was laughing like crazy in the back seat while the other girls hid on the floor (just incase we got pulled over, the police officer would NEVER see them down there). Ahhhh, a sigh of relief was exhaled as we pulled safely into the parking lot. Ok, 10 minutes to pick out a movie, then we have to leave. It took us a whopping 15 minutes to go 2 miles and we need plenty of time to get back home so there will be no suspicion of our devilish act. We ran in, picked out a crappy movie, and ran back out. Anna slowly pulled out of the parking lot onto Yale and off we went. The way back was much calmer. It was as if we were meant to drive that night. This time nobody was hiding on the floor, we were much too cool for that now. We were driving. By the time we pulled into the garage it was pitch black outside.

Anna's parents came home 15 minutes later to find all of us girls in our pj's watching a movie as innocently as they left us. Small talk ensued as they walked back into their bedroom to leave us some privacy. When all of a sudden her mom said:

"Who's movie is this?"

Oh no! We're going to get caught, we'll be grounded for life and will never be able to drive again. Our lives were falling apart in front of our eyes. All of us just stared at her mom, mouths wide open with no explanation of how the movie got into this house. Luckly one of the girls spoke up and said

"I brought it from home in my overnight bag. My parents rented it for us." Smooth, smooth as a baby's bottom.

About seven years later I confessed this story to my mom. She couldn't believe we got away with something like that. It makes me wonder what my kids are going to do someday that they will later confess. I have several stories like this. I was caught on some, some I was't. Stay tuned for the time I thought that it was ok to call people collect ... internationally.