Great big globs of
greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat,
Roasted, toasted parakeet.
Luke warm vomit
running up and down the street,
If you wanna buy some more
Go ask your favorite grocery store!
For some odd reason, that was a little song my mom used to sing to my sister and I when we were little. And right now it reminds me of myself because I feel totally and completely disgusting.
I've had a total of 4 hours of sleep for the past two nights because I wake up coughing my lungs up, blowing chunks of green, slimy snot into a kleenex, and gagging because of all the mucus forming in my sinuses.
Whoever gave me this illness is going to pay dearly. I will find them and I will blow snot into his or her face, just so they know what it feels like to wake up in a puddle of green slime, gag at the sight of it, then realize you can't breath because there's more green slime coming out of your nose.
This is disgusting.
I am disgusting.
I went to the doctor yesterday and she told me that I just have to wait it out. Excuse me? Did you just say I have to wait it out? I don't think so. I know she's got some secret medication she could prescribe me, but she just enjoys seeing her patients suffer. I'm sure she's sitting at home right now, laughing her evil little laugh and rolling around in a pool of pills that would battle and kill the germs that so love to invade my sinuses. They all have a conspiracy against me. I know they do! And if you tell me any different, then you are in on the conspiracy too ... you're all against me, all of you!
Ok, that is all.
12 comments:
Step 1: Keep the Kleenex nearby.
Step 2: Call in sick!
Step 3: Stay home watching When Harry Met Sally, reruns of The Cosby Show, and your Sex and the City DVDs.
Step 4: Make Brandon wait on you (haha).
Step 5: Stay away from ME! (Yeah, I know, like you'd come all the way to Texas to give me a germ!)
Hope you feel better soon!
wait it out my ass, I've been waiting my sickness out for three weeks. I'd get a second opinion. Last time my doctor told me it was just a cold and to "wait it out" I ended up getting larengitis (sp) finally after seeing a ear nose and throat doctor I got the proper medicine and was better in not time.
It sounds like yours is a sinus infection. I feel your pain sista! I have to sleep with a cough drop in my mouth just so I don't cough up a lung while I'm sleeping.
Lord I hope you feel better soon!!! I'm a sudafed freak - so I completely understand.. I get sinus infections constantly.. I have terrible allergies and small sinus cavities.
We sang the same song, but it was:
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts.. saturated monkey meat. Little dirty birdy feet. French fried eyeballs - rolled in a bowl of blood - and me, without my spoooooon!
i can guarantee you she has the little magic pills... but she doesn't make money from you if she cures you the first time you come in. i had to go THREE TIMES before i got diagnosed.
my advice is listen to your body. in my case, i knew that something wasn't right. there's a difference between being sick and wanting to die. i was in the camp of wanting to die and that's not normal. you better get checked for whooping cough. if you've visited my site, there's a good chance you caught it.
by the way, can you imagine going in to your dr. and asking for a pertussis blood test. when she asks why you tell her that you've been exposed. when she asked how you were exposed, you tell her from a blog.
nice.
your mama's are insane! what kind of songs are those??!!
really? am i the only one left out of the gopher guts ring?
honestly, the lyrics made me dry heave. also, i agree about the whooping cough. same thing happened to me. mostly i'm sorry that you're so miserable, cause that's no fun. and daytime t.v is not nearly as good as i imagine it is everyday while i'm at work. i recommend hot tea. and booze. can't hurt...
my version was;
great big globs of greasy grimey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeets, all wrapped up in itty bitty baby feet... mmmmmmmm i'll go get my spoon!
(another favorite song was... "every body's doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, pickin' their noses and chewin' it, chewin' it. you may think it's funny but it's snot.")
also, on a serious note... whooping cough is making a comeback. i've known a few people who've gotten it. insist that your doctor test you. they wont' for like a billion visits. INSIST.
Please do not pass this on to mom, who will be visiting soon. I don't want to have to take care of a newborn and a sick 2 year old.
You just need to call in sick, and drink sprite out of the old Sundae cup (do you remember that?)
I was just telling everone at work about the Sundae cup! Did you know that Mom threw it away? I about cried when she told me that. It was so special to drink out of that cup. It had magical powers to help heal the sick. Ahhhh, the good ol' days.
I knew she threw it away. I told her to because I hated drinking from it. All it did was remind me that I was sick, so anytime I saw that dang cup, I felt sick!
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