Everyone saw and adored my last post about our yearly Moms Gone Wild trip (formerly Wives Gone Wild). I couldn't fit everything I wanted to in it, so this is a follow-up to make sure you know EVERYTHING we did on the trip.
Scene: Cowboy bar, Saturday night in Jackson, Wyoming.
Merecedes: Whoo hoo! I am frahhhking durnk!Loo: You are too!
The Mormon Girl: I'm Mormon!
Merecedes: Who invited her? Hey look it's my bestest best best friend in the whole world!
Sally: (hiccup) What?
The Blond One: Hey, I once drank so much, my friend called Broadax the alien Glurgle basketball hoop!
Loo: What the hell is she talking about?
Merecedes: Get her some more drinks. Preggo GET OVER HERE!
Preggo: Stop yelling. I'm right next to you. What do you want?
Merecedes: WE NEED MORE DRINKS.
Preggo: I'm pregnant, not deaf. Stop yelling at me!
Mercedes: WHAT?
Preggo: Nothing, nothing at all. (sob)
Loo: Know what we need? A big sexy man.
The Brunette one: A local man! Who's totally manly.
Loo: Ooh, looky over there. How about that guy?
Dick: I'm looking for someone to chain up and whip with a cattle prod. You ladies looking for fun?Loo: Your bald spot is hot.
Dick: Answer me women!
Mercedes: I LIKE YOUR STYLE. MOO MOO!
Mormon Girl: My husband does that to me too! It's great joy!
Merecedes: WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER WIVES?
Mormon Girl: Shove it you cantankerous oaf.
Mercedes: WHAT?
Mormon Girl: God Bless you and thank you both.
Preggo: Shut up shut up shut up all of you shut up.
Sally: (hic)
The Other Blonde One: I think apodeca doobie doo bunchita whoohoo I am frahking drunk!
Loo: This reminds me of that one episode of 90210, where the slutty one starts running around with the old man and he's buying her stuff like a car and all she has to do is sleep with him and stroke his mustache every once in a while. Remember that one?
Mormon Girl: OhMyHeck that reminds me of this one episode of Friends. It started with Joey sitting in his apartment and Chandler comes in and says "Joey, how'd your audition go?" and Joey says "Audish....OhMyHeck I forgot the audition!" That Joey! He's my favorite. No! Rachel is! No, no it's Ross!
Merecedes: I LOVED THAT EPISODE! DID YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE CABLE? HOW COOL IS THAT? WE HAVE THIS CATCHPHRASE: I DONT THINK OUR RABBIT EARS PICK THAT CHANNEL UP. HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT?! MY FRIEND IN THE UNIVERSE, THE BEST FRIEND ANYONE EVER HAD CRACKS UP AT IT ALL THE TIME!
OHMYGOD I NEED TO GO BLOG ABOUT THAT! THEN I'LL BLOG ABOUT HOW I BLOGGED ABOUT THAT! THEN I'LL BLOG A BLOG ABOUT THE BLOG ABOUT THE TIME I....WAIT, WHAT AM I DOING?
Sally: (hic)
Mormon Girl: So then Rachel comes in and....hahahahahaha, I love this scene....
Loo: Oh yeah, she says....
(75 minutes later after reciting half of season four in sequence)
Mormon Girl: I loved that season!
Dick: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Loo: Hey, we should do something to him while he's asleep!
Sally: (hic)
Mormon Girl: My heck, Sally, are you okay?
Mercedes: STOP TALKING TO MY BEST FRIEND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS SISTER
Preggo: Hey, we could take a crap on him. Kind of like what has happens when you go on a girls trip and are pregnant and miserable. But don't mind me.
Wyoming Mountain Stranger: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Loo: Hey you big sexy bear you!Mercedes: OH MY GOD I LOVE MEN WITH HAIR ITS SO HOT CAN I RUN MY HANDS THROUGH IT!
Wyoming Mountain Stranger: You can both come with me to my cabin, we'll...uhh, scrapbook.
Mormon Girl: OH My Heck I just love scrapbooking! Do you have a Cricut?!
Wyoming Mountain Stranger: Uhh....sure, if by Cricut you mean young womens' heads in trash bags in my freezer, then sure, I have a lot of Cricuts.
(Mormon Girl leaves with Wyoming Mountain Stranger, never to be heard from again)
Blonde Girl: Mackerel salamander snorful sloot bedazzle tooty frooty choochoo train!
Mercedes: OHMYGOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT! WHAT A GENIUS!
Preggo: This sucks.
Loo: Poop jokes! That's all my husband talks about. It's "crap joke" this and "crap joke" that. Come up with something original! Like fat people jokes! Looks there's a fat bastard over there!
MERCEDES: FATTY ARBUCKLE!
Loo: Gorge W. Bush!
Sally: (hic, giggle)
Preggo: I'll kill your fat ass!
Other Brunette: Flergie Roozins
Other Blonde: Wonka Dude Troika Mademoiselle Freckledass
Mercedes: GET ON ALL FOURS FAT BOY! IMMA RIDE YOU LIKE THE GREASEBUCKET PIG YOU ARE!
(rides helpless but desperate to impress fat guy on floor for next 45 minutes)
Mercedes: GIDDYUP TUBS 'O LARD! WHOOHOOO THIS IS THE BEST TRIP EVAR!
Needless to say, I can't WAIT til next year!
(Note: I don't know all of you that went on the trip, so only the people I know relatively well took part in this. You can write your own Stories)
7 comments:
that's why mercedes deleted one certain picture from one certain camera. Mercedes was not drunk at cowboy bar--only the night before.
And MY RABBIT EARS ARE PICKIN" YOU UP NEXT BIOTCH. :) OH MY GAWWWWD, i'm funny.
Good job on the story bsc. Close, but no cigar.
I don't know how to respond...
I feel like I was misrepresented... and you know me. Hmmmm.
Brandi, hopefully you know that it was my husband who posted this and don't take any real offense. I don't think anyone was represented correctly ... it's just BSC's way of trying to be funny. I still love you!!!
HAHA. I know it was your husband.. I didn't take REAL offense. I was mostly just messing with him. :)
Hey, I'm mormon!
(Just thought I would play the part).
I laughed the whole way through this one!
wow- I'd LOVE to read a commentary (written by my husband)about a night out with my girlfriends!! I'd love to hear the way he thinks-- you're a lucky girl!
great job, BSC
Thank you, Little Miss.
And nice cover-up, The Wife. Like hell you weren't mad. I could see your red face all the way up here in the Utahr. You rageaholics are all the same: fight fight fight then ooh im so sorry i was just kidding. Puhhhleaze.
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