18 (19) months

My Dearest Nathan,

You are now over 18 months old. My letter to you is late for a variety of reasons, it's been one of those months that seems as if everything is happening, one event on top of the other. A few months ago I got a new job that allows for much more flexibility in my schedule. The extra time I get to spend with you is priceless. I love the days I get to stay at home with you, even the days that end in me collapsing on the couch from exhaustion. I know that raising you is the most important job that I'll ever have. Being your mommy is my highest priority, so being exhausted at the end of the day gives me hope that I'm doing something right.


Often feelings of inadequacy wash over me when you throw fits or cry if you don't get your way. You have developed an explosive temper that comes out when you're tired, hungry or don't feel good. The only way I've found to calm you down is to hug you close to my body and whisper or sometimes sing quietly in your ear. After just a few seconds your screaming subsides and you rub your little face into my shoulder until you've completely calmed down. I love it when you smoosh your little face into my shoulder.



You have become completely attached to me. Sometimes you'll cry even if your daddy picks you up and takes you where I'm out of your sight. But you still love your daddy very much. You often run up to him and demand "chase" or "outside," knowing that he'll happily chase you around the house or take you outside for a walk. Every time we go outside for a walk you always want to walk down the same direction. We recently discovered that you're trying to walk to grandma's house or aunt Nici's house. You'll grab our hands and run down the sidewalk shouting "Nici, Papa, Nici, Papa." You love going over to their house so you can jump on the trampoline or play with your cousins. Not only do you know the way to their house, but you can tell if we're driving to the store, to my weekly Bible study, or to the gym. Once we turn on a certain road, you let mama know that you know where we're going.





You love books so much. You would be perfectly fine if the only thing we ever gave you was books. Several of your books have been taped, glued, re-taped and re-glued because you read them so much. Often you are so good to sit and read on your own so I can start fixing dinner, take a shower or do some laundry. You have several of your books memorized and will read parts of them to me and your daddy. If we leave out a word, you'll tell us. If we skip a page, you'll make sure we know. And often you demand that we read a book to you several times in a row by saying "gain pease, gain" (again please).



About a week ago you had a mysterious fever of 102. I assumed you caught a bug and made sure to give you extra fluids and love. I was surprised to find that all four of your 2-year molars are coming in. This gives you a total of 24 teeth, such a large number for such a young little boy. You'd think with all of those teeth in your mouth that you would be happy to eat whatever we gave you. No, you're not. We never know if you'll eat lunch or dinner. You are so picky. Luckily your daddy and I have discovered a few tricks and can manage to get you to eat a few healthy things during the course of the day. I can now appreciate the art of bribery when we discovered your weakness for milkshakes.



I feel like every day I'm just winging it and sometimes don't really know what I'm doing. This parenthood thing is much harder than I thought it would be, but you are worth it. Your hugs, your kisses, your smiles, your laughs and the funny things you do are so worth it. I love my little Doodah, you make life so interesting, fun and meaningful.


Love,
Mama