Things

Things have been bad.
Things have been good.
Things have been weird.

Things are finally back to normal.
And that's that.

I've learned a few things about myself these past couple of weeks. I've learned that I do not handle stress well. I used to be able to handle myself very well. No matter what would happen, I would just push through and make things work in my life. But recently I've found that when something unexpected happens in my life, I shut down. I obsess over the little things and can't focus on the big picture. And this scares me a bit.

So many people tell me "just relax, everything will be ok." But seriously, don't ever tell me to "just relax." It doesn't work that way. My body and mind will relax when things are how they should be, not when life is up in the air. This is in-part due to my OCD nature and my incessant need to control everything that happens in and around my life. Why am I like this? I don't know. Part of it has to do with the fact that I come from an obsessively clean and organized mother and an accountant father (both of whom I love dearly). But why is it that my sister, who came from the exact set of parents is so relaxed about life, yet has way more to be stressed about than I do? I mean, GIVE ME A BREAK! How does a person NOT stress about things, NOT loose sleep over things, NOT worry about the future? Or if they do, how do they NOT show it and let it affect their life like I do? When something bad happens I need to take action and correct the bad in my life until life is back to where it should be. But when something happens that no action can turn you back around, what can I do? Nothing. And that is when the stress takes over my body and mind.

I really need a massage.

On Friday I will be a 25. A quarter of a century. Officially in my mid-twenties. Weird. Getting older is weird. Not to say that I'm old, or that I feel old, or that I need to start on arthritis meds already, but I just don't feel like an adult. Is it always this way? In Utah, the majority of people my age have at least 2 kids already! I can't even imagine BSC and I with two kids.

So I don't really know what my point is with this whole post. I guess I'm just rambling. But that's ok cause it's my blog, deal with it.

Stupid picture thingy isn't working again. Shoe of the day will resume next post.