The Worst Gift ... EVER

So, I know we've all received some pretty crappy gifts in our lives. I know that BSC and I have had our fair share of crappy gifts from our wedding (namely the re-gifted frames that were so ugly, nobody on Ebay would buy them). But today I bring you a story of the absolute WORST gift I have ever heard of ... in. my. life.

While in Tulsa over the holidays I was able to see numerous family and friends. I usually try to get together with as many people as possible without messing up either my or their Christmas schedule. Luckily I was able to hang out with my good friend, Tamra. Let me give you a bit of a description on Tamra. She's very tall (5' 11'), very skinny (maybe 120 lbs), and has big boobs (D's) (yes, they're natural, I've known her since before boobs). She could be a model if she wanted to. She's got "that look," that very original look about her that photographers and stylists love, not to mention her perfect model body. But alas, she is not a model. She's very high-fashion, loves clothes, shoes and always has the latest hairstyle. She always wears the hottest trends of the minute.

With that said, we went to a bar in Tulsa called The Brooke. We had a few drinks, caught up on the good ol' days, and had some laughs about people from high school. She started telling me about her boyfriend who she's been seeing for the past nine months. He actually seems like a really good guy. Tamra finally seems to be happy, which makes me so happy! Then she says:

I have GOT to tell you what (boyfriend) got me for Christmas.

She told the story like this:

The week before I came to Tulsa for Christmas, I kept telling all my friends what I wanted for Christmas from (boyfriend). I assumed they would pass the message onto him, that way I wouldn't have to directly tell him what I wanted. You know, keep it a semi-surprise. I told everyone that I wanted a bike. Just a cute little bike that I could ride around my neighborhood, because I never use my car unless I'm going to work. I had one picked out that was really cute and affordable. Easy, right? I tried to make it easy on the guy so he wouldn't have to stress about what to get me.

So, we set a date to exchange Christmas gifts. He came over to my place and we ate dinner. After dinner he told me to wait in the living room while he set up my gift in the bedroom. I was SO excited. I was positive that he had bought my bike. I was sitting in the living room when I heard a kick-stand go down in the bedroom. I was so happy and excited for the bike! I had given him a digital camera for his gift, so I knew we would be equal on spending the same amount of money for Christmas gifts. He came out of the bedroom and told me to close my eyes. He walked me into the bedroom and told me to open my eyes. I opened my eyes and didn't see the bike. Where's the bike? He had this HUGE grin on his face. That's when I realized, I'm not getting the bike. There, set up in my bedroom, was an ironing board, a candle, and a lamp shade. WTF??? The kick-stand sound was the f#@%ing ironing board! I tried to act surprised and act like I loved it, but an ironing board is not a gift. An ironing board is something you just give to someone for the hell of it. I got him a digital camera! Luckily my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, I think he knows he needs to make it up to me. I better get my bike.

I haven't called Tamra yet to see if she got her bike for her birthday. But it still makes me laugh to think of her getting an ironing board, lamp shade, and candle for Christmas. The poor guy really thought they were good gifts. Someone needs to get ahold of this guy and teach him a lesson on girlfriend gifts, AND FAST.