Yay! Kittens! Meowwww!
While The Husband is hard at work, I have a lot of things to do. Here's a breakdown of my day:
7:30 a.m. - wake up, fart under covers, then force Husband's head under. The Dutch Oven is a great way to kick the day off. Smelled like nutmeg and cloves.
7:45 - Smoke break
8 a.m. - Poured a glass of JB. That's my buddy Jim. Jim Beam. We're tight.
8:10 - Waited until Husband started shower, then I proceeded to flush every toilet in the house and start the washer. He really likes it when I do this, but sometimes his laughs sound like anguished screams. Dang southern accent.
8:35 - After the husband left for work, I locked the kid in a closet so I could clean my rifle. The little brat screamed for, like fifteen minutes. Come on, I even put a few toys in there. Little ungrateful twirp.
9:00 - Smoke break
9:50 -
Called my friend, Mercedes, who is also a close associate of JB.
We drove to Magna, where we knocked off a 7/11. I have this awesome little pistol that hides in my boots so well. It's cute, but watch out! I killed a poodle with it yesterday.
Noon - On the way home, I noticed the boy is getting big. Almost too big to fit in front of the passenger seat. His head bumps up against the glove box, which could make the pistol in there go off. Them bullets is expensive.
12:15 p.m. - Smoke break. You know how hard it is to drive and smoke while talking on a cell phone? Especially when trying to wave the aforementioned pistol at the old hag that won't get out of the lane?
1:00 - Me and Mercedes go to a party at Troy's! Whoo hoo!
2:00 - call Husband, sweetly ask how his day is going, tell him mine is fine and the boy is sleeping. Will have dinner ready.
Yay! He looks so scared!
3:35 - Smoke break
4:00 - Run down to the homeless shelter, grab a few meals. I really wasn't wanting to have stroganoff again, but I have to take what I can rip from the cold, tired hands of the hobo-ites.
4:30 - Noticed the car was riding a little bumpy, so I pulled over and looked closer. Turns out I was dragging a Mexican on my bumper. Silly guy! Yay!
5:00 - Change diaper. I can make myself do it at least once a day.
5:30 - Husband arrives. Dinner, bubby time, sleep. Yay!
7 comments:
Hmmmm, I wonder who could have written this post. Anyone have any ideas?
I was wondering lori...
jeri
Looks like someone (ahem BSC) took over your blog.
Caused some much needed laughter though on my end as for a moment I thought it may be a serious post. :)
Love the random kitten photos and captions. :)
I think I know that Mercedes chick.. she's pretty wild. Too bad I missed you guys at Troy's party. Maybe next time right??
I knew right away that this wasn't you. You take AT LEAST 6 or 7 smoke breaks a day.
I was actually wondering how Britney Spears knew your blog password, but then I realized it had to be BSC - Brit doesn't know how to type!
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