One year

My dearest Nathan,


You were born one year ago today. It's hard to believe that an entire year has gone by since the day you changed my life forever. This first year of your life has been the most thrilling, joyful, hardest, emotional roller coaster I've ever had the privilege to ride. One year ago, it was impossible to imagine that we would ever survive those sleepless nights, the colic, the fountains of spit-up, the exploding diapers and all the other things you brought into our little family. But your daddy and I have survived, and we are loving every minute of it. We can't believe that we were chosen to be your parents. What an incredible gift.

You are such a busy little boy. Like your mama, you always have to be doing something. You don't enjoy being confined to a stroller or high chair for too long. You want to be mobile, crawling as fast as you can all over the place so you can explore and discover new things you have never seen before. Your most recent fascination is the lazy suzan we have in the corner cabinet of our kitchen. You love to open the door and empty the entire contents of the cabinet, including soup cans, bottles of vinegar, boxes of rice, jars of cocoa, and anything else you can get your hands on. You reach your little arm as far as it will go into the cabinet, grasp the first thing that touches your fingers, look at it for a minute or so, then toss it behind you as if to say "I'm bored with you, let me find something more entertaining." This little act is repeated every single day and allows me to cook dinner, wash dishes or sort through the mail without having to worry about what you're getting into, knowing that you're fully entertained with some cream of mushroom.

You have such a defined personality. You are very sensitive and get your feelings hurt easily. If I pass through a room and don't say hello to you, or acknowledge you in some sort of way, your little lip starts to quiver, your eyebrows furrow and your mouth opens up to let out a high-pitched cry while you crawl over in my direction to give me a hug. You have learned to hug and love on people now, which totally melts my heart. You will put your head on my shoulder and pat my chest with your tiny little arm, while the other arm grips tight around my neck. I live for these moments. Nothing is wrong in the world when my little Nathan has his head on my shoulder.

We had your first birthday party a couple of weeks ago while your Grammie Debi was in town. You had been sick for the last couple of weeks, so it was a bit overwhelming for you (and your mama). As is your personality, you were very cautious about the cake. The first mouthful made you gag, but as soon as you realized it was sugary-sweet, you kept shoving fist-fulls of crushed cake and icing into your mouth.

Your daddy and I love to make you laugh. You have become quite ticklish, which makes for great entertainment for all. I will usually pin you down with your arms above your head and eat your belly, your sides, and under your arms. You will laugh with a laugh that gives your daddy a joy that can't be explained. When we're both exhausted of the laughter, you usually crawl over to my lap and lay your head on my knee. I always respond, "I love you too Bubba."

You have always been very fond of the cats:

Your vocabulary has exploded these past few months. You try to repeat everything we say. Your most recent favorite words are: Daddy, up, breakfast, done, gone, juice, and more. You're always talking. The other day, while at home with Daddy you got a hold of our phone. By pushing the buttons, you scrolled through our caller ID and called me at work. I answered the phone to hear you loudly saying "Dadadadadadadada!" Your daddy found out too late that you were using the phone and started laughing uncontrollably. It made my day.

As always, bathtime is an adventure. I think your daddy and I share the same opinion: it's our favorite time of the day. You love to splash as much as you can, kicking your legs as fast as possible. By the time we're done bathing you, the entire bathroom is drenched. You always tell us when you've had enough by standing up and saying "done." Then I take you in my arms and wrap you in a warm towel. This is one of the few times you will let me just hold you and rock you while you snuggle into my chest to keep warm.

This first year with you has been indescribable. Though I miss being able to hold your tiny little body for hours on end while you sleep in my arms, I wouldn't trade this time with you for anything. You are so much fun, so smart, and so beautiful. I don't care if you're not supposed to call boys beautiful, you are.

I love you bubba, you're my big boy. Happy birthday!