Monday, October 02, 2006

What are the Rules?

Alright, I'm facing a dilemma here and am turning to you fine folks to help me out. It's baby shower time and my sister is requesting an invitation list. Sounds easy right? Well, not so much. I have five friends who are borderline. What I mean by borderline is that I'm not sure if I should send them an invitation or not. I see them at a social function about once or twice a month, we exchange hellos and nice conversation, and that's about it. I really enjoy all of their company and would love to spend more time with them, thereby my reasoning for wanting to invite them to the shower. But, I don't want them to think that I am inviting them just for a gift. If the tables were turned and I was invited to a baby or wedding shower of theirs, I wouldn't think anything of it. So I'm really torn on this situation. What do I do?

13 comments:

Summer said...

I'd say invite them! If there's room for their presence at the location/in the event budget, the more the merrier, right? Your feeling of "not thinking anything" of being invited to a shower of theirs is most likely how they feel about you. If you wouldn't suspect them of gift grabbing, I am sure they wouldn't suspect you either. In the end, it's their call whether or not they will answer the invite (i.e. their concern about whether or not to agonize over the politics of gifting). Plus, it's always nice to be invited to something. That can make the change from a borderline friend to a better friend!

breanna said...

oh i definately think you should invite them. whenever i get an invitation somewhere, i think of how sweet it is that someone wants me at their shindig. it's not until the day before the party that i realize that i'll need to get a gift, which is totally backwards for me considering i LOVE giving prezzies. and, when i know about a party that i'm NOT invited to, the LAST thing i think of is that the partier is trying to save me some dough.

moral of the story: invite them for sure.

breanna said...

i'll send you my email address through a message on myspace....you know, to prevent crazy stalkers and all.

gayle said...

I am getting to be quite a seasoned shower-thrower, so here is my advice:

Invite them. If they want to come, but don't feel close enough to you to get a "regular" gift (something more expensive), they will use their discretion and purchase something small, such as socks. You can never have enough baby socks. :)

Can I come? Haha!

gayle said...

You should start a thread on the GoodHousekeeping etiquette board! Then you'll get lots of good advice! :)

You can do that here:
Etiquette Dilemmas

Emily & Daniel said...

I say invite them. Its a win-win, you get a gift and get to get to know them better...and if they don't want to spend that much, then they can all go in together on a gift (I'm assuming that they know eachother).

hollibobolli said...

How would you feel if you weren't invited?

I say if you see them at a social function once or twice a month - that's twice a month more than I see the majority of my friends lately. Invite them.

Anonymous said...

definitely invite them. i could go into a long detailed reason as to why you should, but i think it's already been covered here.

invite them.

Tami said...

i'm with the crowd...invite them. You really can't lose that way!

LITTLE MISS said...

Been there. Done that. I made list after list after list. Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel!!

uh, yeah, there's no easy answer. My final conclusion is this: invite them. It's much easier to toss aside an "unwanted" baby shower invitation and never think of it again than to not receive a "wanted" invitation and feel jaded about it for years afterward.

Everyone knows baby showers are a social gathering, not just for giving gifts. So if you have a thought to invite someone, then just do it and move on. Trust me, there are much greater things to stress over, and this should not be one of them!

Kara (Turskey) Vaught said...

ok I'm way late on this (stupid work has been expecting me to work lately!) but I also say invite!
2 days!

kelly said...

people will get less upset about having to get you a gift than not being invited. trust me on that one :)

Just Me said...

I say invite them. They wont think that you only invited them because you wanted a present.