Our children

I just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning.

Our kids are rebelling. They know something is about to happen, something that will deprive them of being the constant center of attention. And they don't like it, not one single bit. So in their tiny little minds they have made the decision to start climbing on forbidden furniture, puking in places (like right on my pregnancy journal in the middle of the kitchen table) that make me burst into tears, and having all-night parties outside with the other neighborhood cats.

This morning was the last straw. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm within a hair's width of losing all my sanity. In the middle of my normal morning routing of trying to make myself look halfway decent for work, I was rudely interrupted by an eerily familiar sound.

ONE OF THE CATS WAS PEEING ON THE CARPET!

I dashed out of the bathroom to see Simba (the orange one) squatting in a dark corner of the basement, peeing like it was the right thing to do.

I looked at him, he looked at me.

I screamed "NOOOOOOOOO! Bad boy! BAD BOY!" He continued peeing and just looked at me like nothing was wrong at all.

I had a choice: I could either let him finish peeing on the carpet, or grab him and put him in the litter box causing more cat pee to be strewn across the carpet. I opted for the first choice because he was pretty much finished anyway. Before I could grab him and punish him, he dashed around my ankles in a fit of frisky and ran up the stairs and hid in one of his many clever hiding places ... I think he knows that I'm not as fast as I used to be. So I started the clean-up process and got some paper towels to absorb the cat pee from the carpet. I spent a good 10 minutes on my hands and knees trying to find the cat pee. Nothing. No dirt, no grime, and definitely no cat pee appeared on the paper towel. I just couldn't believe it, I couldn't find the pee! I saw where he did it, I heard the pee hit the carpet, I know it's there somewhere, but I just couldn't find it.

I finally gave up trying to find the wet spot because I needed to get ready for work. With my blood pressure a bit higher and the vein in my forehead bulging, I went back into the bathroom to finish my secret beauty process (I know you would all just LOVE to know what I do in the morning to look so great, but I'm sorry, every woman must have her secrets).

And again, I was interrupted by a familiar noise.

*Scratch, scratch*
and again
*Scratch, scratch ... silence ... sssssssss*

NOT AGAIN! So one more time I ran out of the bathroom to see Benny (the grey cat) squatting in the corner, right were Simba had been 10 minutes ago. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there. They really do hate me. My cats are out to get me one pee spot at a time.

So again I try to clean up the pee, and again I can't find the mysterious spot. Am I just imagining all of this? Is this all really just a bad dream? No it's not, because I was late for work, didn't have time to eat breakfast, and now my day is totally thrown off because of the magical disappearing cat piss.

What am I going to do with them?